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Songs About Isaac

by Lucas Scarab

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1.
You have no idea the things I’ve seen The things I’ve done at the places I’ve been And those who want me dead still call me king They can look away, but they’ll still hear me sing I’ve accrued a power toy could never claim And I still hear whispered ripples of my name The crowds still part when I come into view But I can only hold my head so high ‘cause I learned it from you The flames your ego stoked are burning still The sparks from guns I fired against my will Your picture-perfect love, painted in gold Stained by your orange lips with lies you told The shattered glass you scattered at our feet Is what’s always kept us in the elite I know you’ve always seen the world in red But you only wear that jagged smile when someone ends up dead And that’s not what I wanna be Though each movement comes so easily You’re the kind of secret that I don’t have to keep Oh baby, androids dream of much worse things than just electric sheep We both know you’d do well to take a knee You’d rather not behold what’s left of me The acid scars and marks that made me numb Once flowed so easily from your own tongue You fought so hard to keep me at your heel A silent threat of love hidden with steel You made me think you’d lead me through the fog But I can see now with my blinded eyes that I was just a dog And it’s not any longer strange That we both ignored the winds of change Marching ever faster as we delved in the deep Oh baby, androids dream of much worse things than just electric sheep I can’t regain the years you stole from me As falsehoods about my own sanity The thoughts you plagued me with will never leave It’s funny how it’s still too hard to grieve I serve you and I level at your grave With memories of your teachings to behave I willfully ignored signs from above I guess I assumed the burning coals were just part of your love But it’s not about me at all I took lives for you when you felt small Split my skull in pieces as I drift off to sleep Oh baby, androids dream of much worse things than just electric sheep - [Audio transcript.] W: Is this thing on? Great! T: Please refrain from using adjectives with specific emotional connotations. W: Jeez, we haven’t even begun the report yet. R: Yeah, [REDACTED], lighten up a little. T: We have to take this as seriously as possible. W: Doesn’t ‘seriously’ have a specific emotional connotation? T: ...it’s an adverb. [R and W laugh.] T: Which one of you wants to start with the formalities? [Inaudible.] T: [sigh] Fine. First audio report of Drs. [REDACTED] W[REDACTED], [REDACTED] R[REDACTED], and [REDACTED] T[REDACTED]. Recorded on April 3rd, 2467. W: This morning, at 11:38 AM, we breached the tomb that we had located with the help of one of the reformed vessels and there was a body inside, just as they had said. When our team had completely removed the cover, the body sat up and began looking around at all of us. Dr. [REDACTED] attempted to communicate with it, but it either did not understand her or did not care to respond. R: We moved the body to a secure holding vehicle with little resistance and transported it to our testing facility, where it currently remains. T: Once the body was securely locked in a safe room, the last vessel was relieved of his.. Ahem, ‘demon’ and debriefed. If his group is to be believed, the subject is powered entirely by faith. As it no longer has any followers, it should go without saying that it no longer has any powers. W: We believe that the conditions we’ve created are secure enough to study the body without putting anyone on our team in danger. T: Technically speaking, these logs are a formality. All pertinent information regarding the subject will be meticulously scribed by our staff. End recording. [R leaves the shot.] W: We can keep talking after you say that, right? T: Yes, it’ll be edited out for the official submission. You may say whatever you’d like off the record. W: I just don’t feel right calling the subject an… ‘it.’ T: It has shown no signs of intelligence. There is no evidence to assign a particular pronoun to it. W: I know, but… even things that wouldn’t even necessarily have genders get them sometimes. Cars. Boats. T: We are far too early into our research for you to be attempting to humanize the subject, [REDACTED]. If at any point it begins to show a preference, or even a capability for speech, we will consider that. But you can’t just go around offering souls to every errant stranger in your life. W: But-- T: I’m serious. Let it go. W: ...yeah, you’re probably right. [Silence.] W: …what do you suppose the vessels would have done if we didn’t find it before them? T: I believe, Dr. [REDACTED], we should consider ourselves very, very lucky that we will never find out.
2.
My Eyes 02:56
When I first met your eyes and I saw the lonely there buried I saw right through the lies and I knew you felt just like me You were trapped, you were suffering of a future you’re reasonably wary But your gaze is so vast and I want to be lost in your sea You’re the dumbest mistake I ever would make Our corruption was far too deep-seated to shake But if I meet my end, you were my only friend In a world my eyes can’t comprehend I was so tangled up in the web that you’d carefully crafted That when lifeboats surrounded the ship, I’d look the other way No, nothing, not flesh and not blood, could have pried me from you As we slow spiraled downward, I swore you would beg me to stay But I now know that you only fancied the hunt Keeping close that which you were forbidden to want Though I can’t forgive your keeping me in the dark, You still keep your hold on my heart And I watch, wide awake, as a stranger sleeps right beside me Though he’s wearing the skin of the one that I used to hold dear As a lamb to the slaughter, you’re cold hand did carefully guide me And it’s all I can do to close my eyes and embrace my fear Keeping you to myself as close as you would come All so that you could remain comfortably numb You laugh my desolation, you reap my despair You’re watching me go up in flames ‘Cause our love is your favorite game - T: Second audio report of Dr. [REDACTED] T[REDACTED]. Recorded on April 4th, 2467. The subject appears weak, as though physically malnourished, but it seems to be rejecting food and water. It is possible that it does not consume the same food as humans. As of two hours ago, we have begun tests to offer it anything in the hopes that it will consider any of it food, but we are thus far unsuccessful. However, there’s-- [Sound of a door opening.] T: Oh. [REDACTED]. R: Sorry, boss, you busy? T: Yes, as a matter of fact, I’m recording a log. R: Aw, I’m sorry, I forgot. T: I believe I made it very clear yesterday that I intend to state my findings at 1200 on the hour every day until our research is finished. R: I’m… sure you did. T: Is there something I can help you with? R: I was just wondering if you had seen [REDACTED]. T: Glued to the one-way glass, I’m sure. You should see the way he looks at that thing. R: Well, he’s a scientist. You’re a scientist. You understand how it is. T: There’s hardly anything scientific about it. R: That’s a hefty accusation. T: Then you try to peel him away from his “note-taking.” R: I will. [Sound of a door closing.] T: [sigh] I seem to have lost my train of thought. I’ll resume with new findings tomorrow. End recording. [T leaves the shot. The sound of office materials shuffling is heard.] T: I swear, everyone on this team is so emotional. Won’t get a thing done around here until they can stop talking about its jawline.
3.
Waltz no.36 03:38
I know the world is on fire It’s lit by our desire But the heat couldn’t break me, couldn’t melt my frozen heart Your smile was a sliver of the moon And your life was stolen too soon And if I listen close, I can still hear the screams You’re the spectre haunting my dreams And we know this intricate dance Was never once a romance But as they say, ignorance is bliss And I can’t carry on without this You know I’d stop if I could Pressing shards of glass in the wood If you’d just let sleeping dogs lie If you’d let dying soldiers die There’s safety in numbers, that’s true But there’s sanity in solitude In spite of, or maybe because of this, you got in my head You figured I’d drown in the flood But I’ve done away my fear of blood There’s a tiny spark left I can barely explain How were you both the fire and the rain? And I’m sure you’d rather pretend You were simply being a friend You know I’m not dumb, just easily swayed But I sure recognized your blade And I’m sure it’s much more fun When you’re the one holding the gun If you’d just let broken men heal If you’d let wooden soldiers feel We know this intricate dance Was never once a romance But as they say, ignorance is bliss And I can’t carry on without this You know I’d stop if I could Pressing shards of glass in the wood If you’d just let sleeping dogs lie If you’d let dying soldiers die - W: Okay, um, uh.. [Sound of shuffling papers.] W: Okay! Tenth audio report of Dr. [REDACTED] W[REDACTED], recorded on July 14th, 2467, etcetera, etcetera. I don’t really get the whole technical format that Dr. T[REDACTED] insisted we use, but hey, it’s not my call, so. I have been doing a lot of studying of the subject of a somewhat more personal nature, despite recommendations from my coworkers that I not do that, and um.. [W clears his throat.] W: I think this thing is a lot more human than my boss wants to admit. I mean, how do you quantify that? He’s sentient, sapient-- he shows a preference for types of music, for fuck’s sake. The only thing is that we can’t seem to figure out what he.. wants. [Sound of shuffling papers.] W: I have this report from one of my lab technicians here, let’s see, um.. quote, “the body seems to sit perfectly motionless for extended periods of time, the longest one observed being just over six hours. It is always capable of responding to external stimuli, and does so whenever any is presented to it, but if no stimulus is provided, it has never been observed exhibiting any behavior at all.” [Sound of papers hitting the desk.] W: It’s just-- it’s just that sapient creatures don’t act like this. There’s always some desire, even if all they have is their id. Food, water, warmth and comfort, anything to show that they have needs. But if he doesn’t have needs, or wants-- LUCAS: Oh, I have wants. [The door slams open and a faint wind is heard.] W: ...oh, Christ. LUCAS: Something like that.
4.
So you’re the one I met last June Beneath the light of a full moon And I’m sure you don’t remember me But you’re the one I’ve longed to see The blackwood forest kept you bound Your feet entangled in the ground When December comes, you’ll be trapped in ice But I know I’m first to return here twice What I wouldn’t give to caress your cheek But I cannot move and you cannot speak Back around the woods and across the creek I’ll return for you within the week So you’re the one they called the king Abandoned to your suffering And it’s not as though I understand But this can’t have been what you had planned The crooked crown upon your head That’s splattered with your shade of red It’s much duller now than your splendor, dear You deserve much more than entrapment here If I’d known you then, I might change my mind But your face is old and your eyes so kind When I’m strong enough, I’ll leave that behind For your gaze is like the stars aligned But oh, how they would speak of you If only someone knew That you were here and suffering You would be their martyr then Yes, time and time again Until you reached your upswing And they would claim they’d never known That the grave they trampled was your own So you’re the one who enchanted me No mercy to my vanity No love like ours is could be named a crime I’ll return for you a final time And when I stand upon that plain Finally able now to destroy your chains I’ll embrace you just as I knew I should And escort you away from the wood - MERCURY: Hm. [The camera rattles.] MERCURY: Earthen technology, is it? Primitive. [The shutter clicks as the camera refocuses.] MERCURY: If you’re listening, mortal, and I do mean listening, you had best pay close heed to my words. Leave well enough alone. When the beast escapes, let him. Everything that wandered in the door after him will follow, and anything he chooses to take with him is less of a consequence than what he will be forced to take from you if you chase after him. It’s more than likely that he has already chosen a vessel. It’s more than likely that you cannot trust one another. [The lights buzz and flicker.] MERCURY: If he has made his choice, then it is too late. Leave your friend behind, kill them if you must, but don’t. Give. Chase. [A loud crash is heard and the lights cut out completely before returning, dim.] MERCURY: I can’t stay here any longer, or I risk being noticed. But you, mortal, you may still have a chance yet. And Scarab? [A low, distant rumbling is heard.] MERCURY: If you’re seeing this, you’re a dead motherfucker.
5.
I’m always under the spotlight, yet favored by none The crimson around me is only to know that I’ve won And yet, as the moments continue, I find in me shame But I’m sitting pretty wrapped up by a gold picture frame The people are fickle, but know what they’re wanting and when (We can’t wait for the dawn) It’s never so simple, I know you know what happens then (We’ll keep their savior drawn) I know you’re dreading the drop, but the show must go on A gun to his head wouldn’t do, where’s the fanfare in that? Although I’ll admit he has something the mouth of a brat I’m guessing that’s par for the course when you run with his lot In spite of the gifts he’s been given, he fell for our plot Life still goes on whether you’re in the cradle or grave (You’ve been a wondrous pawn) Thought you could just sneak away, now you’ll learn to behave (All brains and lacking brawn) You’ll be the star of it all, so the show must go on Your world was so simple before I had entered, I know You can’t hardly blame me for how I was made, can you, though? It’s nearly the hour of the end of this pointless charade And once I am through, you can clean up the mess that you’ve made The screaming and swirling, it’s all that I’d hoped it would be (My soul’s within this con) So just take my hand, let’s enjoy one last dance, you and me (All life and love forgone) I hate to put you on the spot, but the show must go on I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m not! Yes, the show must go on - T: Two hundred and twenty-first audio report of Dr. [REDACTED] T[REDACTED], recorded October 30th, 2467. We’ve been making progress with offering the being simple forms of entertainment. If prompted, it has been observed to participate in small games of logic with technicians, even ones that are far below the level of intelligence we have thus far observed. It’s been- [The door slams open. Heavy breathing is heard.] T: What the-?! [REDACTED]? You look like hell! R: He’s gone! T: What? Who’s gone? R: [REDACTED]! And that.. fucking thing! T: What do you mean, it’s gone? How could it have gotten out?? R: He let him! How else? T: You don’t seriously believe he would do that. R: [REDACTED], come on. He’s been making people on the team see shit. He’s been actually attempting to poke holes in the containment unit. He’s actually fucking speaking to us now. What else could that possibly mean? T: At best, it’s a misjudgment on our initial assessment of the subject. At worst, it’s- R: A follower! It means he’s found a vessel! T: Which of our number do you truly believe is foolish enough to follow that thing? R: What do you think [REDACTED] has been doing all this time?! T: …oh my god. R: We have to do something! T: Do what, [REDACTED]? Because if they’re both already gone, god knows how much more power that thing already has. They could be halfway across the country by now and picked up any number of followers on the way. R: Why would he be trying to get back to his full power now? T: What do you mean, why? R: He doesn’t need every person’s faith. He only needs one. And he has it. Everything he’s doing is going to be to keep [REDACTED] exactly where he wants him. T: ..fuck. R: So [REDACTED].. he’s… he’s not coming back, huh. T: …we have to warn the others.
6.
Oh My God 02:36
Oh my god, he is such a cute guy My god, always so demure and so shy It’s like he’s got nothing better to do For the afternoon Oh my god, now we’re brothers in arms My god, he’s tenderly mending my scars It’s not like we could be anything more Than prisoners of war And oh my god, now at last we’re at odds My god, the world is alive and applauds He’s wrong, but I know my bark is a curse And my bite is much worse And oh my god, I remember his face My god, the way he’s gone without a trace It’s not like he’d ever see me again As more than a friend But what the hell, I can give it a try Why not? It worked once upon an old time He’s got to have something left for me still I know that he will And what the hell has he been doing here I ask, hey, do you want to disappear? I don’t think anything of it just yet But I don’t forget But what the hell, he’s much faster than me My god, I don’t quite believe what I see I’m strong, but he’s got me completely pinned But I won’t give in And oh my god, he is drawing his knife My god, he’s planning on ending my life Oh my god, the whole world is spinning We’re playing by his rules and I can’t be winning Oh my god, I’m screaming, seeing red My god, he’s putting a hole in my head Dear god, please end this bloodshed This can’t be the ending, I’m already dead He’s my god There’s a gun in my hand My god always knew that I’d understand - W: And you’re sure they’ll be okay with it? LUCAS: Of course I am. You do trust me, don’t you? W: I- yes! Yes, I trust you! I just worry that they won’t.. see it like I do. LUCAS: They’ll see, darling. They’ll see. W: May I ask where we’re going? LUCAS: You can ask, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to tell you. W: ..are you taking me to the gloaming? LUCAS: [laughs] No, darling, I couldn’t take you there even if I thought you could survive. We’re going somewhere for you and I to simply spread the scripture. All that’s left are… W: Your Eyes and your Hands, right? LUCAS: Very good! W: And you really think they’ll come willingly? LUCAS: My darling, my dear, my Agent, I will make them an offer they can’t refuse. You would kill in my name, would you not? W: Yes, without hesitation. LUCAS: But you do not wish to see your friends hurt. W: ..no, I… I can’t let them go. LUCAS: That is alright. You are human. These things come naturally to you. W: Will they survive in the world we’re going to? LUCAS: If they wish to. That’s the one thing I cannot force them to do. Now, I have one final question that you must answer. W: Yes, master. Anything. LUCAS: Can you play guitar?

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released January 15, 2021

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Lucas Scarab St. Louis, Missouri

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